Secret Subject Swap is much like a Secret Santa party, except with blog topics. Your topic is chosen by the Secret Subject Swap gods (i.e. Karen, at Baking in a Tornado) from a pool of topics submitted by all participating bloggers. She tells you what your topic is, but no one else knows. And on a chosen day, you all reveal your posts about your given topic. My topic was submitted by Dinosaur Superhero Mommy, and is "Whoa, you won one million in the lottery... what do you do?"
The prudent part of me would invest some in mutual funds; ELSS's and ULIP's and what not. I'd invest some in a business start-up (I hear One Classy Motha is coming up with some patent-pending Beaver Babies... a learning tool that has a hilarity factor of about a billion). I'd give a little to stem cell research and I'd invest in the grey sweat sock industry (long story). And lastly, I'd invest in Ann Taylor. Why? Because they make pants.
I'd also give my folks a chunk. I figure they earned it after 30-odd years of my crap. And I'd send a hunk to Mr. Martini's folks too. We're not talking like I'm all giving and philanthropic. We're talking enough to buy a new TV, or to go on a short vacation, or something. Okay fine. A new car. And a fancy watch. But the bulk would be invested.
The real me (read: not prudent, take-the-money-and-run-around-like-an-idiot-screaming-"I'm-Rich-Bitch" me) would go to Vegas and bet on black. I'd buy a Jaguar, just so I could say I drive a Jag-u-ar, pronounced like they do in the commercials, which is not at all like anyone, anywhere pronounces it. I would buy a boat even though I live approx. 300 miles from the nearest body of water. I would go to Tiffany's and try on EVERYTHING and buy NOTHING!
How much do I have left?
I would buy a pony. I would buy an inflatable bounce house and I would have that sucker inflated ALL THE TIME! I would buy a fur coat. No I wouldn't. But I'd buy a damn good fake. I'd buy stock in Barefoot Wines. Hell, I'd start a Pinot Grigio winery and call it I'm Rich Bitch Wines. I would also buy at least 23 kegs of Berghoff and 190 lbs of shell-on peanuts so I could re-live my college days.
I would buy designer pants in all shapes and sizes and throw them out my car window at moms with shopping carts full of children and messy hair at the Walmart... cause I know how they feel. I would buy 4 lbs of king crab legs and eat them all myself. I would also by a 24 pack of toilet paper, because that kind of intestinal assault would definitely land me on the hopper for a full 2 hours.
Lastly, I would buy the rights to this song:
Be sure to check out the other Secret Subject Swap topics and responses by clicking here. I would tell you to vote for me, but it's not that kind of club.